Thursday, October 23, 2014

Bad Johnson (2014)


Number Rolled: 94
Movie Name/Year: Bad Johnson (2014)
Genre: Comedy
Length: 87 minutes
Rating: NR
Affiliated Companies: 2DS Productions, Roman Empire
Executive Producer: Huck Botko, David Fox, Paul Kim
Director: Huck Botko
Writer: Jeff Tetreault
Actors: Jamie Chung, Cam Gigandet, Nick Thune, Katherine Cunningham, Jessica Joy, Kevin Miller, Holly Houk, Katie Rich, Catherine Perzee, Gena Ellis

Rich is a complete dick, at least to the women he goes out with. He simply cannot keep his penis in his pants. After a particularly bad fuck-up, his penis detaches from his body and becomes a sentient being.

You have to hand it to Jeff Tetreault, the premise of the movie is definitely eye catching and mostly original. In fact, you might remember this movie from the Top 10 Movies to Look Out For in May 2014 that was published on this blog earlier this year.

I made a terrible error.

Remember how I said I thought there was the possibility that it would be a hell of a lot of dick and fart jokes? Yeah, there kind of was. Admittedly, there was a slightly deeper romantic story woven through it and there were a couple of thriller-like moments, but it wasn’t enough for me to honestly label this movie good.

I enjoyed the chemistry between Cam Gigandet (Easy A, Never Back Down, Reckless) and Katherine Cunningham (Mind Games, Jupiter Ascending, Two Days in February), but I think it had more to do with my personal enjoyment of the actors than the actual film.

The point is: I wanted to love this movie. Unfortunately, there really wasn’t enough substance for things to work out like that.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 31%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 23%

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 3.9/5
Trust-the-Dice Score2/5

The Random Rating: R

Movie Trailer: 


Monday, October 20, 2014

Authors Anonymous (2014)


Number Rolled: 30
Movie Name/Year: Authors Anonymous (2014)
Genre: Independent
Length: 92 minutes
Rating: PG-13
Affiliated Companies: Bull Market Entertainment, EKZ Productions, Lainie Productions
Executive Producer: Jonathan Bennett, Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting, Cynthia Guidry, Lainie Guidry
Director: Ellie Kanner
Writer: David Congalton
Actors: Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting, Jonathan Bennett, Teri Polo, Tricia Helfer, Jonathan Banks, Chris Klein, Charlene Amoia, Dennis Farina, Dylan Walsh, Meagen Fay, Diane Robin, John Griffin, Daniel Riordan, Scott Ford, Robb Skyler

Five writers work together to offer criticism and support for each other’s work. When one of the less educated members gets a book deal, everyone gets a bit bent out of shape and things in this mockumentary begin to slide down hill.

I did not like this movie. About 10 minutes into it I got bored and it never got better.

I kept expecting sweethearts Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting (The Big Bang Theory, 8 Simple Rules, Charmed) or Chris Klein (American Pie, The United States of Leland, Wilfred) to bring Authors Anonymous into the adorable zone or acting veteran Dennis Farina (Law and Order, Saving Private Ryan, Snatch) to bring it to a new amusingly sardonic level. Unfortunately, it just didn’t happen that way.

I don’t blame the actors, I blame the script.

Authors Anonymous had the chance to be great. The concept was decent enough; the problem was the actualization of that concept. This was, however, David Congalton’s first, and only, writing credit, according to IMDB. If he manages to get his style polished, he may have some great stories to tell in the future.

None-the-less, it will always be easy to tell which script was his first.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 7%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 16%

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 2.8/5
Trust-the-Dice Score2/5

P.S. There are a couple of scenes during the credits.

Movie Trailer: 



Thursday, October 16, 2014

No Post Today

Due to health issues, there's no post this Thursday. Posts will resume on Monday.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Movie 43 (2013)


Number Rolled: 14
Movie Name/Year: Movie 43 (2013)
Genre: Comedy
Length: 94 minutes
Rating: R
Affiliated Companies: Relativity Media, Virgin Produced, GreeneStreet Films, Wessler Entertainment, Witness Protection Films
Executive Producer: Ron Burkle, Jason Felts, Brian Kornreich, Tucker Tooley, Tim Williams, Jason Beckman, Jason Colodne
Director: Elizabeth Banks, Steven Brill, Steve Carr, Rusty Cundieff, James Duffy, Griffin Dunne, Peter Farrelly, Patrik Forsberg, Will Graham, James Gunn, Brett Ratner, Jonathan van Tulleken, Bob Odenkirk
Writer: Rocky Russo, Jeremy Sosenko, Ricky Blitt, Bill O’ Malley, Will Graham, Jack Kukoda, Matt Portenoy, Claes Kjellstrom, Jonas Wittenmark, Tobias Carlson, Will Carlough, Jonathan van Tulleken, Elizabeth Shapiro, Patrik Forsberg, Olle Sarri, Jacob Fleisher, Greg Pritikin, James Gunn, Bob Odenkirk, Steve Baker
Actors: Dennis Quaid, Greg Kinnear, Common, Will Sasso, Seth MacFarlane, Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Rocky Russo, Jeremy Allen White, Leiv Schreiber, Naomi Watts, Anna Faris, Chris Pratt, Kieran Culkin, Emma Stone, Richard Gere, Kate Bosworth, Jack McBrayer, Aasif Mandvi, Justin Long, Jason Sudeikis, Uma Thurman, Bobby Cannavale, Kristen Bell, John Hodgman, Leslie Bibb, Will Carlough, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloe Grace Moretz, Patrick Warburton, Jimmy Bennett, Matt Walsh, Gerard Butler, Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville, Halle Berry, Stephen Merchant, Snooki, Terrence Howard, Aaron Jennings, Elizabeth Banks, Josh Duhamel

Movie 43 was a compilation of comedy shorts all tied together by a simple framing device.

I’ve only reviewed two other anthologies on this blog that I can remember. One was The ABC’s of Death which was perfectly horrible and made me want to rinse my brain with bleach. The other was New York, I Love You which was incredible, the next day I sat my best friend down and forced him to watch it.

Since my feelings on the two anthologies were opposite to the extreme, you can see that the method of storytelling is not something I take into consideration with these movies. It’s all about content.

Unfortunately, Movie 43 was closer to The ABC’s of Death than New York, I Love You. It wasn’t as bad, but it definitely felt like a chore to sit through it at times.

Like the former, there were a couple of shorts that went over well with me. It got a slightly higher score because the shorts that did work well had me rolling and nearly falling off the couch. The rest of it was terrible.

Just… terrible.

There were a lot of amazing actors involved in this work that are going to have it listed in their Filmographies for the rest of their career. It makes me feel legitimately bad for them.

Apparently, the framing device used for the film in the US version wasn’t the one they were originally going to go with. In the UK, it’s retained the initial device, which sounds a lot better than the one they went with for the US. Instead of making it a movie pitch, the shorts were supposed to be videos found by kids hunting for a specific movie.

To be honest, I feel like the other framing device might have elevated the movie for me a little. It still wouldn’t have gotten the highest score, but hating the movie-pitch idea they went with certainly didn’t help.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 4%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 24%

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 2.7/5
Trust-the-Dice Score2/5

P.S. There are some basic outtakes during the first part of the credits. Those are followed by one last segment before the rest of the credits roll.

Movie Trailer:



Thursday, October 9, 2014

Starship Troopers: Invasion (2012)


Number Rolled: 35
Movie Name/Year: Starship Troopers: Invasion (2012)
Genre: Sci-Fi & Fantasy
Length: 88 minutes
Rating: R
Affiliated Companies: Sola Digital Arts, Stage 6 Films, Sony
Executive Producer: Edward Neumeier, Casper Van Dien
Director: Shinji Aramaki
Writer: Robert A. Heinlein, Flint Dille
Actors: Luci Christian, David Mantranga, Justin Doran, David Wald, Andrew Love, Leraldo Anzaldua, Sam Roman, Emily Neves, Melissa Davis, Kalob Martinez, Chris Patton, Adam Gibbs, Jovan Jackson, Corey Hartzog, Josh Grelle, Karl Glusman, Shelley Calene-Black, Noel Burkeen, Andy McAvin, Michael Keeney, Kris Carr

Starship Troopers: Invasion continues the story of the Starship Troopers series.

Two troops join forces to try and repel a massive bug attack and wind up putting themselves, and their ships, in great danger. It features the return of the three main characters from the first move: Johnny Rico, Carl Jenkins, and Carmen Ibanez.

First I will state that, although the main characters from the first one have returned, they are not played by the same actors. I will also state that during the majority of the movie I considered the possibility that Johnny Rico was actually being voiced by Casper Van Dien (Starship Troopers, Noobz, Mortal Kombat: Legacy). As far as I’m concerned, that just means that David Matranga (Attack on Titan, RDG: Red Data Girl, Appleseed XIII – all English versions) did one hell of a job.

When the movie was over and I looked up the info on it, I was thrilled to see that Casper Van Dien did actually have a hand in the creation of the movie, despite his lack of acting in it. It made the film seem more official.

The movie itself wasn’t bad. I was worried, going into it, because the sequels to the original Starship Troopers, up until this one, kind of made me want to throw things at the TV. Invasion was significantly different.

Although I disliked the animation style, and I thought Justin Doran (Clannad, Journey to Agartha – English Versions, ER) did an absolutely awful version of Carl Jenkins, I wound up really liking the movie. The storyline was decent. I found myself highly entertained and actually happy to be watching.

I’ll admit, it was nowhere near the quality of the first film in the series. None-the-less, the idea of finally having an acceptable sequel does appeal to me.

Four movies and I can only stand the first and the last.

It is the last… right?

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – None
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 51%

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 3.8/5
Trust-the-Dice Score 3.5/5

P.S. There’s a short scene after the credits. Also, although Netflix labels this a foreign film, it is in English.

Movie Trailer: 


Monday, October 6, 2014

Grabbers (2012)


Number Rolled: 31
Movie Name/Year: Grabbers (2012)
Genre: Sci-Fi & Fantasy
Length: 94 minutes
Rating: NR
Affiliated Companies: Forward Films, High Treason Productions, Irish Film Board, Nvizible, Samson Films
Executive Producer: Robert Bevan, David Collins, Nic Hatch, Michael Henry, Samantha Horley, Cyril Megret
Director: Jon Wright
Writer: Kevin Lehane
Actors: Richard Coyle, Ruth Bradley, Russell Tovey, Lalor Roddy, David Pearse, Bronagh Gallagher, Pascal Scott, Clelia Murphy, Louis Dempsey, Michael O’Gruagain, Ned Dennehy, Stuart Graham

Erin Island is a fishing village off the edge of Ireland. Life is quiet there, almost too quiet for Guarda Ciaran, until someone finds something in the water. Whatever the creature is, it’s proving to be too much for the little town.

This is technically an alien movie, but it follows the same basic principles of a creature feature. There’s one massive difference, though.

The graphics are relatively insane.

Sure, it’s not perfect, but the way the Grabbers are shown, even their movements are VERY believable. In movies like this, graphics are usually the easiest thing to forgive issues with and, often, it’s necessary. Bad graphics and aliens or creature features go hand in hand. It’s shocking when the creature in question is actually believable.

I’m not even sure I’d classify this as the B-movie I thought it would be.

I enjoyed almost everything about this film. My only issues were with some of the super slow parts. Other than that, the script was hilarious, the aliens were imaginative and the actors were pretty decent in their rolls.

I would watch Grabbers again. The benefits definitely outweigh the flaws.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 72%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 52%

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 4.5/5
Trust-the-Dice Score3.5/5

The Random Rating: R – Language and violence

Movie Trailer: 


Thursday, October 2, 2014

The Family (2013)


Number Rolled: 44
Movie Name/Year: The Family (2013)
Genre: Comedy
Length: 111 minutes
Rating: R
Affiliated Companies: EuropaCorp, Relativity Media, TF1 Films Production, Grive Productions, Canal+, Malavita
Executive Producer: Jason Beckman, Ron Burkle, Jason Colbeck, Jason Colodne, Martin Scorsese, Tucker Tooley
Director: Luc Besson
Writer: Luc Besson, Michael Caleo, Tonino Benacquista
Actors: Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Dianna Agron, John D’Leo, Tommy Lee Jones, Jimmy Palumbo, Domenick Lombardozzi, Stan Carp, Vincent Pastore, Jon Freda, Michael J. Panichelli Jr., Paul Borghese, Anthony Desio, Ted Arcidi, David Belle, Raymond Franza, Christopher Craig, Cedric Zimmerlin, Serge Tranvouez

The Manzoni’s are a former mafia family. They gave up their life of crime when Fred Manzoni, the patriarch, ratted on his business associates. In return they got a sweet life of moving around and complete lack of stability. They’ve just been relocated, again, to Normandy where they’re having a little trouble adjusting.

The Family did exactly what it set out to do. It wanted to give a nod to all the awesome 80’s and 90’s mob films while pushing a comedy aspect. What it wound up being is something violently hilarious.

Robert De Niro (Goodfellas, A Bronx Tale, The Godfather Part II) and Michelle Pfeiffer (Scarface, Hairspray, Dark Shadows) have acted in movies together; namely Stardust (2007) and New Year’s Eve (2011). This is the first movie, however, that they actually had a scene together in. It’s about-fucking-time, too. I could praise them on their performances, but it goes without saying. Both are veteran actors with a long list of accomplishments. They don’t need my two cents.

Dianna Agron (Glee, I Am Number Four, Heroes) and John D’Leo (Wanderlust, Brooklyn’s Finest, Cop Out) were outstanding. I’m familiar with Agron’s work and I expected her to be good, but D’Leo caught me off-guard. Despite his young looks, he’s actually right around 18 in the movie, though his character is younger. He reminded me, physically, of Lillo Brancato from A Bronx Tale (1993). Acting wise, Brancato wishes he was as good in that movie as D’Leo was in The Family.

Rotten Tomatoes critics panned this movie. A lot of their comments lead me to believe it’s because they were expecting something more on the serious side. I think they’re all nuts; they need to lighten up. I loved this movie, I will likely watch again and I will definitely recommend it.

I might have renamed it, though. Would you have gone to see it if it was titled: The Art of the Word ‘Fuck’? Nah, I wouldn’t have either. It’s a terrible title.

Accurate, though.

Rotten Tomatoes Critic Score – 29%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience Score – 42%

Netflix’s Prediction for Me – 4.7/5
Trust-the-Dice Score4/5

Movie Trailer: